February 2010
To My Dear Friends and Family,
Happy New Year! As I write the cold has left us and the sunshine is shining right into my office. We survived, all of us Omahans, the meanest cold that Omaha had to offer.
Christmas has come and gone, along with our oversized Christmas tree. The New Year used to bring new schedules, new jeans and new folders if the ones of the last semester had been stuffed full by my ‘I may sometime in my life need this again’ hoarding tendencies.
Now, I find the newness marked more subtly. I notice how the sunset has returned to my commute home. Chad and I have shiny new YMCA memberships, and the little seedlings in the windowsill are starting to grow.
Last week, my former co-worker, Daphne, shared about her new ventures in starting a creamery business. Her eyes lit up as she talked. Her lightness and creative energies felt tangible through the room.
I thought about life and how contagious or toxic dreaming can be. Contagious because when I meet someone who seems to be fully living it feels like they are extending an invitation to me to follow in their lead. Toxic because when I refuse the invitation, I usually think something like this ‘how nice for them, I only wish (with condescending attitude) that I had the resources, or the creativity or (insert lame reason here) to do something so beautiful with my life’- I choose death.
Dreaming is risky. It involves letting go of the security of the known. I tend to like to keep a nice little death grip on most anything that resembles security in my life. I realize the decision to serve at WMF and raise my full salary seems to say otherwise. To that I say, God definitely thinks God’s-self funny. I like structure and routine- sometimes it is scary at first to realize how free I am.
I thought, while listening to Daphne, that this time I was going to accept the invitation. The small speed bump is that accepting the invitation doesn’t automatically mean I know where it will lead. I’ve got ideas and plans- but I also feel like I know God enough to know that God’s plans don’t always look like mine. Faith, for me often looks like trusting that God’s plans will be better.
Here is to the New Year, to new seedlings on the windowsill and dreams.
With love,
Amanda
Support Account Update
My support account remains healthy as I begin the New Year! Thank you so much for your continued faithful support!