I have now been living and sharing life with the WMF Buenos Aires community for two years. Living in a new country, learning a new language and adapting to a new culture for the first time have a way of stripping away the illusion that I am in control and the false security of a life defined by what I do. These past two years have been a process of relearning many things. My weaknesses, inadequacies and insecurities have often shot straight up to the surface as I struggle to communicate in Spanish, to establish friendships and to be “efficient.” At times I still feel like I am fumbling along with even the simplest of tasks and errands.
These two years have required an intentional posture of observing, listening and learning. The process and practices of Ignatian spirituality have significantly shaped that posture in my own life. They have influenced how I reflect and discern both the joys and the trials of living life as a foreigner for the first time. Ignatian spirituality has been described as a spirituality of attentiveness, of watching and waiting, of noticing the ebb and flow of our feelings and dispositions.1 That attentiveness involves recognizing and listening to the things that give us life as well as the weakness and brokenness of our lives.
The Ignatian practice of examen has been especially helpful as I seek to listen and discern God’s work in my feelings and experiences. The idea behind the examen is to open oneself to how God has been moving throughout a specific period of time, and to allow the Lord to search one’s heart in a time of self-examination and confession. Pausing to regularly recognize both the beautiful and the difficult in my life has been a meaningful discipline. I must admit that my tendency is to avoid paying too much attention to struggles and weakness. However, Paul boasts — even delights — in his weakness and difficulties as he proclaims God’s promise, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Cor. 12:9). I’m working on the boasting and delighting part. However, I am learning that recognizing weakness and brokenness in my life provides the necessary posture to experience God’s mercy and grace as God’s beloved, serving among our friends who live and work on the streets of Buenos Aires.
ENDNOTES
1 David L. Fleming, SJ, What Is Ignatian Spirituality? (Chicago: Loyola Press, 2008), p. 8.
David (AKA Didi) loves sharing life with the WMF community in Buenos Aires. Didi is a nickname that started 10 years ago when his oldest niece was first learning to say “Uncle David.” “Didi” caught on and stuck with family and friends, especially the WMF community.