Our design mastermind and Advocacy Coordintor, Jara, married her beloved Kenley in October. It was so fun to celebrate such a dear friend’s movement into the next phase of her life.
But, our office, where the reception was held, was a mess at the end of night.
Several of the wedding guests came up and asked, “How can I help?”
It’s a beautiful question, isn’t it? Someone sees the need and is directly responding. This person may need some direction from you. And sometimes that’s where it can get tricky.
We have to allow this person to help. And we have to be able to name the ways in which we need help.
Sometimes no one can really help you. If you’re a cardiologist performing open-heart surgery, I’m not going to be of much help when I come bebopping into the OR and then pass out at the sight. And you certainly aren’t going to say, “Yes, please make the initial incision.”
So, yes, sometimes it is OK to deny help. But more often than not, when we refuse help, it is because we think we’ll do it better or because we just don’t really know how to accept the proffered help. We over-identify with what we do and are nervous to release control.
I’d like to suggest that service, at its best, is mutual. If you are willing to help clean up after the reception, I can let you help by telling you how to do so. I will be receiving help; you will have the joy of getting to help.
I hope you enjoy what our community members have shared in this issue as they’ve reflected about service.